Thursday 8 January 2015

5 TIMES JUSTIN BIEBER ALMOST WON, BUT STILL FAILED

It's hard not to have a grudging respect for Justin Bieber. Put aside his God-awful music, he's doing pretty well for himself: heaps of cash, hordes of adoring female fans (some of legal age), and now even some bad ass sleeve tats and prison-sculpted bod (probably developed during that couple of hours he spent in a Miami lock-up after a DUI incident in 2014). He was even recently made the new poster boy for Calvin Klein underwear, though allegedly they had to photoshop body hair onto his baby-smooth skin.

Source: tmz.com



But despite all that, there's something about the guy that isn't all there. Try though he might to be #winning at life, he usually ends up FAILing. Top five:


5.
Source: Instagram
Last boxing day JB instagrammed these shots of him riding in the $60 million Gulfstream ‘G4’ luxury jet along with the caption “New jet for Christmas, and she’s beautiful”. He may have fooled his legions of tweenie fans into thinking he’d bought it, but it emerged later that it was only a charter.

Source: Instagram

 Biebs’ estimated net worth is around $200 million, so plunging nearly a third of his cash into the sorely needed, jet-powered penis extension, though tempting, was probably too risky a move for the little guy. Looks like you’re going to have to record a few more hit singles before she’s yours Jus… On second thoughts, don’t.

4.
Source: Instagram
 After posting this photo of what appears to be a Bugatti Veyron 16.4 Grand Sport Vitesse (starting price $2million & the world's fastest convertible) with the caption “Uncle Stunna luv. My first Bugatti ♛ #generosity”, it later emerged the car was a loaner from rapper/producer Birman (aka Uncle Stunna). Just cos you’re driving it don’t mean you own it JB.

Source: mtv.com
Maybe Birdman, busted with a pound of weed in 2007, can give him some pointers on the true meaning of possession…

3.
Source: YouTube

Early in 2014, during a deposition in a Miami court, bad boy Bieber does his best impersonation of the dead-eye gangstas he’s been hanging around with lately. Watch him pop his collar for the camera @ 1:40, as his slimeball lawyer engages in a dick-measuring contest with the other slimeball lawyer (representing a photographer who is suing Biebs, claiming the pop star directed his security to steal the memory cards from his camera).


You can’t really blame him for getting impatient, but when the court stenographer politely asks him if he can make his answers a little louder, the boy gangsta loses his s**t. Come on man, save it for the lawyers, girl’s just trying to do her job!

2.

This clip shows the Biebs attempting to ollie down two small flights of stairs near Madison Square Garden in NYC. Like most skateboarders, he stuffs it up multiple times before he eventually gets it. Unlike most skateboarders, there’s a decent crowd watching who actually seem to give a f**k. Find his worst stack @ 0:36. He actually nails it @0:48. We are awarding the fail not for his lack of skills, but for his choice to wear a dress over what appears to be pleather jeggings.

1.
Source: bieberfever.com

In 2013 barely legal Biebs was snapped mid through-the-shirt grope of an equally barely legal Belieber. Dude, Selena Gomez is way hotter.


Source: elle.com